Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Chillax

Plankton is going through a very busy time, and everyone is currently working very hard. However it is vital that we learn to relax to ensure we maintain the work/life/sitting-around-doing-nothing balance that society tells us is so important.

Unfortunately, people feel that they shouldn’t be seen to be relaxing at work. We are all employed to work a certain number of hours a week and even though we may meet that weekly requirement it can make us feel a little bit naughty if we are caught napping on the couches or Googling ourselves .

Rest assured, though. Plankton understands that to get the best out of its employees, we all need the opportunity to work, rest and play. (Note that the dollarshop sells Mars bars for this very purpose.)

So as employees we need to not only relax, but to revel in our relaxation. It is rare that during a lunch break we see someone reading a book, playing ‘Grand Theft Auto: Norlane’, or practising the sousaphone, but these are exactly the kinds of activities that will revive your body and sharpen your mind, and therefore make you a more productive drone.

If your work commitments truly do make this kind of overt relaxation impossible, then you can relax by making a game out of your work. If you’re writing a requirements or design document, set yourself a fun challenging phrase to try to insert into the document (e.g. “this software will contain no bugs or design flaws”). If you are writing code, try avoiding any keywords that contain the letter ‘e’ and see if it compiles. If you talk to people on the phone, pretend to be different people by using exotic accents.

In short find something to do that will help you relax. Dying of stress will not help Plankton meet its deadlines, and so will not look good on your next performance review.

4 comments:

  1. Grand Theft Auto: Norlane = amusement.

    I've always found turning up to meetings I wasn't invited to and muscle my way in. "Oh, I was asked to sit in", is always a good line.

    Great fun can be had when you realise they're wracking their brains why I'm there and who sent me. When I break into a sea shanty it only adds to the confusion.

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  2. And can I just say, the word verification today was 'Skenrodo'. That's such a cool name for a band....

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  3. Actually "Word Verification" would also be a good name for a band.

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  4. when relaxing i like to think up amusing 'assumptions' for teh design document..

    ie. Gravity is 9.8m/s/s
    water is wet
    the sine rises tomorrow

    etc..

    i have had a few document 'signed off' with such assumptions still in place.. lol

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